Crap Dudes Say

Ok, I don't get any more annoyed about my dating life than the next single person does. I'm not jaded. I still like guys. But when things have the potential to be hard or uncomfortable, I like to laugh about them. This is by no means a bitter list but a way of showing just how ridiculous and funny things get in the dating world. These are all things that have been said to me over the last couple years....

“Everyone else in my family has proposed to their spouses within like a week of the   

 first date so I expect it to work that way for me, too.” (On a first date)

“Sure, I’ll go out with you. But you should know I am going out with 3 other girls this 

week so I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

“You keep a journal? So maybe I should keep a journal too. That way, when we get  married, we can share entries.” (Date 3)

“So we are going to play a computer programming game. For every formula you get right, you get to ask me a question. For every formula I get right, I get to ask you a question.” (This was my first attempt at programming)

 “Ask Brianna for help. She has a lot of free time on her hands.” (In a ward meeting)

 Me: “So why don’t we just date?”

 Dude: “Well, I wanted to date you yesterday, and would’ve made a move, but then   

 you weren’t giving me enough attention at your birthday party. I am going out with       

 someone new now.”

“Sometimes I think you are too boring for me. Other times, I want to take you on a date and have a steamy make out.”

“Well, now that I know you are going on a mission, I have no more questions for you.”

“You have a degree??? You’re scary.”

“I can’t keep my hands to myself. I’m Latino.”

Missionary Shopping Cheat Sheet

Dear Future Sister Missionary,

I recently completed the bulk of my shopping for my mission and MAN was it tough. There were tears. But I was blessed with a lot of support from RM friends. I wanted to make a list of all the good places that I had success so that it will be easier for you!

Shoes:

Clark’s Bostonian (Arizona Mills)

Zappos.com (Danskos Brand recommended)

The Walking Company (Danskos Brand recommended)

Easy Spirit (Cheap)

Sketchers (Cheap)

Cardigans and coats:

Last Chance Thrift Store (Cheap cheap) 

JC Penney (Cheap)

Target (affordable)

Down East Basics (More pricey but most cute)

Forever 21 (affordable)

Skirts:

Dress Barn (It’s not all old-lady stuff)

JC Penney (cheap)

Marshalls (cheap)

Undershirts:

Down East Basics (wonder tees)

Winter and Rain Coats:

Burlington Coat Factory (Long coat recommended)

Tops:

Down East Basics (Favorite)

JC Penney (Cheap)

Forever 21 (affordable)

Charlotte Rousse (affordable)

Marshalls (cheap)

Ross (cheap)

I found winter accessories at Last Chance and Burlington Coat Factory for dirt cheap. 

***Always, always, ALWAYS check DI for these things**

Project Homemaker

I am a forward thinker. While my plans to serve a full-time mission in the near future are exhilarating, I cannot help but do some mental planning for when I return to Arizona. I spent several hours today trying to compile a bucket list that included travel plans, humanitarian projects, and goals to help me "get ahead". Then I realized...I don't want to travel alone; I don't want to do service in a foreign country when people need me here; I don't want to get 3 more degrees just so I can brag about it. 

What I really want is to be a homemaker.

When I get home, I want to become financially independent. If that means taking on two jobs to pay the bills and have a life, so be it. I want to learn how to cook and invite people over to enjoy my food. I want to become really fit by exercising daily. I want to have a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate who I can serve. I want to decorate my space. I want to learn to be thrifty by learning how to sew and by shopping at DI. I want my home to be a place where the Spirit can be felt and a place where I can invite members not of my faith. I want my home to be a place of peace and refuge. Because, after all, there is nothing as exhilarating as the Spirit and no success can compensate for failure in the home.


Call me whatever you want. Plain Jane. Boring. Unambitious. But this is the vision I have for myself. I am happy with it. 

3 Strikes You're Out

I recently went through a difficult break up. Before you jump to any conclusions, this blog isn't intended to be used as a punching bag where I come to work off all my anger toward men. In my opinion, blogging about your ex boyfriend and trashing him on the internet is wrong. Many people would cringe at the thought of murder, but they don't think twice about assassinating someone's character by ripping them apart and tarnishing their good name. That being said, my ex is a good man. Even though break ups are hard for a lot of reasons, the pain would be in vain if we were not able to glean any lessons from the experience. Something I enjoyed about my last relationship was that he DATED me. Here are some of the things we did frequently: We would go to the Temple, get ice cream, go on walks, read books together, put on game nights with other couples, watch movies, go bowling, and attend church activities.


I have posted a talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks entitled "Dating versus Hanging Out" and I think it deserves more attention that it has been given. Elder Oaks counsels young men: 

"Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect, proceed to courtship. It’s marriage time. That is what the Lord intends for His young adult sons and daughters. Men have the initiative, and you men should get on with it. If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help. I heard it from my 18-year-old granddaughter. A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off."


"Young women, resist too much hanging out, and encourage dates that are simple, inexpensive, and frequent."


Some of my favorite memories from my last relationship involved sitting on a park bench and talking about our childhoods, going for a walk down Main Street with ice cream from Dairy Queen, and reading a good book and discussing it together. I loved that we were able to spent small amounts of time together throughout the week and it is probably the glue that held us together for almost a year. It helped deepen our friendship :)


"Don’t make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don’t subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door.If you do this, you should also hang up a sign, “Will open for individual dates,” or something like that."


I've returned to the single scene and noticed a lot of hanging out going on...This is what has inspired the title of this post. I've been thinking of how I might "lock the pantry and bolt the front door." I want to follow the prophet's counsel and I want to be with someone who also follows that counsel. So I've developed the "3 Strikes You're Out" Rule. Girls will spend MONTHS fixated on one guy who never asks her on a date. She will drive him (and his friends) around, cook for him (and his friends), plan activities for him (and his friends). It is possible that this guy really has no interest in her as more than an acquaintance, but I don't want to be THAT girl--it's a waste of time and energy and it's hard to move past the point of "acquaintance" to good friend. I think 3 hang out opportunities is enough room for a guy to ask a girl out. Hence, after 3 tries I will consider the boy "out" and move along. I would invite my other single lady friends to try this rule too and let me know how it works! This should be enough to either weed out the men who haven't "grown up" or it should help encourage them to do so. Let me know if you are on board and keep me posted on your progress. 


"And, young women, please make it easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date. Part of making it easier is to avoid implying that a date is something very serious. If we are to persuade young men to ask for dates more frequently, we must establish a mutual expectation that to go on a date is not to imply a continuing commitment. Finally, young women, if you turn down a date, be kind. Otherwise you may crush a nervous and shy questioner and destroy him as a potential dater, and that could hurt some other sister."


"My single young friends, we counsel you to channel your associations with the opposite sex into dating patterns that have the potential to mature into marriage, not hanging-out patterns that only have the prospect to mature into team sports like touch football. Marriage is not a group activity—at least, not until the children come along in goodly numbers."


That being said, I would like the men reading this blog to know that I want to get married. HOWEVER, I don't want to marry any of you--at least not yet. I want to date and make lots of friends out of the acquaintances that I have made and continue to make. If one of those friendships blossoms into a romance, great! So...ask me out! I am good with a quick trip to the ice cream store :) And if you don't think I'm cool then it wasn't a huge waste of your time, money, and energy! 

Speaking to single sisters of the church, he states:

"If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may never have the opportunity for a suitable marriage in this life, so stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin’s advice to call “on the name of the Lord daily, and [stand] steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11)."

I have so many plans for myself and I am thrilled! I'm one of those girls who will be in school as long as circumstances will permit and my New Year's Resolution is to love better!